I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
