I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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