I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
