They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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