Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
