I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize