His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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