You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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