so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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