gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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