I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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