Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
