then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
