Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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