He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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