Hey man sorry I got all grabby
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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