"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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