I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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