I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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