i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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