DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
