I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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