Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
