it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize