They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
