I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
