I CAN MOONWALK!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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