This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
