My friends, they love my intelligence
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
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she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs