Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize