"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
