I wish life had little blips of pornography
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
