dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
