god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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