I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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