Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
