Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
