Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
