I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
