God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
