I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I have already put on my inside pants.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
