he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
