Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
