you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
