i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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