It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
