she smelled like a LAN party
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
