You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
