We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Randomize
