I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Randomize
