dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
