you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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