How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
