Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
