took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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