in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
