yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
